The Only Club for Me
We had two main goals when we set up All Stars Kids Club. The first was to create a space for our kids, where they could have fun in a relaxed setting, with a bunch of kids who shared their journey. The second was to create a space for parents, where they could have fun in a relaxed setting, with a bunch of parents who shared their journey.
It really was as simple as that.
After years of joining mainstream clubs, where we would cross our fingers and hope for the best, only to feel rejected, or like we didn’t fit in within a few months or weeks, we wanted a space that could support both parents and children alike. When our kids are happy we’re happy, and when we’re happy, so are our kids.
Over the years, I’ve been lucky enough to be surrounded by ‘mainstream’ or ‘neurotypical’ families who’ve welcomed us with open arms, and who still play a vital role in our lives. But as my son has gotten older, and his neurotypical peers have developed in ways he can’t or doesn’t want to, it’s become increasingly clear that finding our tribe, or club, has been the best way our family has felt ‘normal’.
So what does this tribe look like? And how does normal feel? Well, I guess the one commonality amongst us, is that our lives revolve around our kids. I’m not saying this isn’t true of parents who don’t have kids with additional needs. The neurotypical families I’m drawn to are exceptional parents, who build their world around their kids. The difference is, as their children get older, and their needs become less and less, they’re able to loosen the umbilical cord and let their kids explore the world on their own two feet. My son still likes my feet to be planted firmly behind him. Or in front, or to the side, or sometimes even 20 steps away, but always where he can see or feel me close by. He needs me in his world, and at the moment, I can’t imagine that ever changing.
My tribe understands that I might be late because I can’t find that one essential thing we can’t leave the house without. Or I might not even show up, because it’s been a busy and tiring day and we need some down time. They know not to haphazardly change plans on me, because after a plan has been hatched, my son believes it’s set in concrete. They understand that I can’t give them my undivided attention when we’re out or at home, because I always have one eye on him. They know that I’m doing my best, because we’re all doing our best, it’s what we do. And most importantly, they know never to take anything personally.
Being around parents who get it, is the best move I’ve made for my family to date. Finding my tribe has taken the pressure off everything, including the pressure I put on myself.
My tribe is a loyal bunch who’d do anything for anyone. They sit with me when I’m low and soothe my wounds, they’d even fight for me if I asked them to. But what I’ve found is that knowing this of them – knowing that they understand my world in ways others cannot, has meant that there are less fights to fight, and less hurts to heal. Our tribe, our club, is a laughter club. It’s a joy club. It’s a club built on celebrating small victories and wanting each other to win.
The All Stars Kids Club is a club I’m so happy to be a part of. I hope thousands of clubs like it pop up as far as the eye can see. Only then will others see that our types of club – the ones made for extra special people – are the ones with the best members.
Keep watching this space as we continue to grow. While small at the moment, our club is growing and we hope to find a place for all of you.